thoughts

An Escape Route: What Love Can Become

What are you apologizing for? If you love yourself, never seek a reason. There’s no need to answer the mirror when it asks what about you is worth loving. You, still alive, is the only answer you need.

Remember, It’s okay to love yourself and never ask why. Besides, The answers will never be good enough for you anyways. Maybe that’s your biggest problem: how you can hate yourself as much as you do.

Question love long enough and you’ll soon discover hate. Sadly, tragedy is born, not from pain, but love. It’s true, that all life has an end. That death isn’t evil but only a means in which this inevitable truth becomes reality. So find comfort in that fact.

Everything comes into being through cycles. You’re on a journey, but this path isn’t a road; it’s a maze. You must leave a place to get somewhere else. In order to escape a maze, walk through it. Even when you’re lost, you’re where you’re supposed to be. At least, if you learn to think that way. All pathways in a maze lead to an exit, eventually.

Remember this: love cannot be a promise. That connection doesn’t fit in any context. People break promises as easy as glass. They’ll watch it shatter on the floor and won’t bother to pick up the pieces. Instead, they’ll find that shards can make the perfect weapon. It’s sad that people are monstrous that way.

This is why you must be careful of those around you. Be aware of the friends you give that title to. Even the heart can be a weapon to the body it occupies. In most instances, love can be a threat. Provides sanctuary only to take it away from you. So how would you describe Hell? It’s the place where Heaven no longer is.

So what can love be other than a question? It must mean more than a statement. Hold more honor than a promise. Be something greater than a threat. Can love be conformation? That it exists simply because you say it does. If that’s the case, then don’t say love is a road. It cannot lead you to a place you don’t feel exists. Instead, say love is the exit from the maze. This way, if you have no idea where you’re going, you’ll find comfort knowing that you aren’t truly lost.

And you never were to begin with.

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#poetry

Love Poem to the Stars

rain is the sky is the empath.
it is the cry for help & uncalm rain.

night is the sky is our skin,
its also human—     
the rediscovery & the reminder
that we’re the sky too.

in the dark, anything as small
as a flashlight can mimic a star
or that is what we tell ourselves
to escape from it—    
the black hole blooming into being
as bones born into body that will soon become us

similar to the mind, how it alters into
the night, ever growing.
forever it seems, we search for light
to lead us somewhere & found nothing.

when I say, the sky haunts me
don’t think mental illness
as you’ve never looked up,
felt the moonlight beat into
your back—
claws tapping your shoulder
eager to snatch you.

how the moon seems so small
despite its bigness.
a monster tip-toeing through the clouds
  does anyone know its there.

as I peek through the windows
like critters through a thick bush,
the only thing I see is you
on a street corner glaring at
a flickering light pole.

a mantra:

love the stars & purge us
of all that is dark
of all that is except this skin
for this is the only thing
worth loving

love their song & calm us
of the demons in our heads
as if we were children again
still believing the power of lullabies      
how they pacify monsters underneath our bed

what we see as stars are dying light
born from supernovas.

when the star in its final act
of self-destruction
explodes into a sudden flash,
only to become that of the black hole.

isn’t it funny, the illusion of it all?       
how what we see isn’t what is real?
how what is alive to us
is disguise of something dead?

when nature becomes the metaphor,       
we become the very thing we despise.
how no matter the brightness of star
eventually it’ll be as dark as night.

isn’t it sad how human it all is?        
how the moon only pretends to shine
& how okay we are even knowing this?

the promise:

if this is darkness
we can discover strength
this heart we call shadow
will bloom into animal
or a love we’ll name galaxy

so strong my senses, I felt the storm
clouds of dark curls & saw the luminance
of sunlit eyes & smelled the fresh aroma
of colorful fields after rainfall,

I found myself outside with you,
arms around you as moonlight
over the river.

its okay if you’re not okay,
my voice blends into the wind
empowers it.

the epiphany:

love yourself & love
with all that is in you,
with all that is, including the skin
for it too is a place worth loving.

when the sun finally peeks
& discovers us in this moment, I pray
you see me
love you in all the ways you should love yourself