No one could prepare me for this.
The whole concept of life in general is exhausting. It always requires the sacrifice of what you hold dear. Whether if it’s time, your sanity, or even a basic meal in the morning, something always has to give. Capitalism is the Devil that puts a price on our souls. The question that must be answered, what are we willing to exchange for another day of life?
It’s a crossroad without a sign that points in the right direction. To be honest, I’m starting to wonder if there’s even a right path. If I travel down one path and not the other, who’s to say I chose correctly? Maybe I could’ve reached my destination if I knew where I was supposed to go.
Adulting is wishing you had GPS. If only Siri was a real person I could ask directions from. Hell, I’d settle for a map, some old wrinkly scrap of paper, if that’s all that can be spared. However, I have nothing. Just the paths that are in front of me waiting to be traveled through.
It seems everyone is a hitchhiker. No one knows where they’re going even those that know how to navigate through the outdoors. We’re all just moving for the sake of not being still. Some of us just want to get out of the sun and into shade. Others don’t give a shit about the road itself, but are only traveling to show off their brand new cars to be gawked at.
Maybe that’s what this crossroad is in the big scheme of things. Just a series of paths that are headed nowhere in particular. It’s like a giant spider web and we’re flies caught in the silk. We struggle thinking we’re making progress when we’re only dying a slow death.
I want to say the government is the spider. Likewise, the world is a spider web trying to kill me. I want to believe my destination is around the corner. If I squint my eyes, I can see it. Just point in that direction and there it is. I want to feel like I finally know where I’m going. To be led straight to my destination. Instead, I stand as the fork in the road. I’m told, everywhere is a better place than where I am.
Is this what its like to be an adult? A big migration of moving around and relocating? Never finding a home but a place to settle down? A trading war between the worth of our soul and the bounty people place on our heads? Building wealth even at our expense? Not knowing what we take for granted until we’re forced to give it up?
I see now that we’re the spider. Everyone is too busy fighting over space to build their own webs that none of us realize we’re trapped within the silk. There’s never been a destination to reach, which means traveling is pointless. Yet, here we are evaporating underneath the weight of sunlight headed somewhere someone told us to go.
How long until we realize anywhere can be home? What we think of home isn’t a place where we live but are happy and safe. I understand the purpose of a spider web is to trap the fly and not be a shelter for the spider. So how long will we wait until we finally say, fuck it, we’re happy where we are?